The Super-Duper Crossover of Mayhem/Transcript
This is the transcript for The Super-Duper Crossover of Mayhem. Transcript Scene 1: Prologue Papyrus: Sans! What are you doing? Sans: I've worked a ton. A skele-ton. (rimshot) Papyrus: Dammit, Sans! Sans: What? I play the guitar! (rimshot) Papyrus: Sans, you lazybones! Sans: I think there are more lazybones than me in this world. Papyrus: Where? (cut to Rocketman's house) Rocketgal: I got you these flowers! Rocketman: Thanks. Rocketgal: Why are you so glum? Rocketman: It's this damn force field. Rocketgal: You mean, that alternate universe portal? Rocketman: Yep. Rocketgal: I wonder who is there... (cut to Markiplier's house) Mark: Thank you for watching and I'll see you... in the next video! Buh-bye! (Mark turns off his camcorder) Mark: Now to edit it... (rimshot) Mark: What was that? (cut to Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft) Harry: Hermione! Hermione: Harry, what's happening to the school? Ron: Peeves the Poltergeist is terrorizing the entire school! Harry: Why didn't you tell us at Diagon Alley? (cut to Gorge's house) Gorge: Hey, Chrome. Sure, you can come over. (Chrome and Bagel enter Gorge's house) Chrome: Gorge, we need to talk. Gorge: Yes. Please explain. Chrome: An alternate portal just opened up, and we need to go investigate. We think... you can come too if you want. Gorge: OK, then. Chrome: Bagel? What do you think? Bagel: Let's do it! (Gorge, Chrome and Bagel head off into the alternate universe portal) Scene 2 Gorge: Wow! This place is huge! We're still the same, and- Peanut: Are you supposed to be the same when you enter a portal like that? Bagel: Last time we read the book, it has no effect on anything! Peanut: Good to know that. I found another alternate universe portal... over there. Gorge: What do you think? Chrome: Sure, let's go. (Gorge, Chrome and Bagel go to another dimension) (a wolf gets slashed at with a sword) Gorge: What is going on here? Link: Name's Link. How are you? Gorge: There's something weird going on... like an alternate universe portal opening up or something... Link: Yeah, I already know. (Gorge, Chrome and Bagel go into another dimension) (meanwhile, at the S.N.A.F.U. lair) Glowface: Behold! All these dimensions will collapse together into a great melting pot! Bill Cipher: Good plan... for a MORTAL! Glowface: What do you mean? It's a good plan! Bill Cipher: I say combine all the universes and being Weirdmageddon to the new universe! Glowface: Lame... and weird! Peridot: Don't you have any sense of combining the universes, you clods? Bill Cipher: No. Glowface: Never. (Mandark enters the room) Mandark: It is I, Mandark, who wants to destroy Dexter's laboratory! (Plankton walks in with serious injuries) Plankton: Do you know why I'm using a water helmet? (Vicky walks in) Vicky: What is the twerp gonna do? Glowface: Calm down, calm down. We'll have time for pleasantries later. Vicky: What's in it for us? (Donald Trump walks in) Donald Trump: That's what I wanna know. (Dores walks in) Dores: Me too. Glowface: I haven't divided the universes yet, stupid! Vicky: Darn it! Glowface: Now... (Dr. Doofenshmirtz walks in) Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I want to rule the Tri-State Area! Glowface: Let's not get too crowded! (Vexus walks in) Vexus: What's in it for me and the Cluster family? (Denzel Crocker walks in) Crocker: I want to give an F to everybody! F! Glowface: You're overcrowding the home base! Bill Cipher: Well, are you the leader here? (Snaptrap arrives) Snaptrap: Whatever you have for me, it'd better not be cheese! Glowface: It's not! (The Chameleon arrives) The Chameleon: It is I, the Chameleon! Glowface: How many villains do we have? About... enough to fill up the base! BEHOLD! (A machine is revealed) Glowface: My latest invention, the Universe-Blender! The Chameleon: Really? Bill Cipher: More like Lamo-Blender to me! Glowface: Aww, come on! It's a great machine! Once activated, it will combine the universes! All the universes! Bill Cipher: Aww. great. I'm too immortal to become a Popple! Glowface: Shut up! Nobody is becoming nothing! I programmed it not to mess with anybody's DNA! Crocker: In that case, split the locations up! Glowface: I'll give you all schools... Crocker: Haha! F! Glowface: Trump gets the Republican nomination for the U.S. Presidential Race... Donald Trump: Finally. Glowface: Snaptrap gets T.U.F.F. HQ... Snaptrap: Finally! Glowface: Dores gets Lake Hoohaw... Dores: Thanks, Glowface! Glowface: Bill Cipher gets all of Gravity Falls... Bill Cipher: Thank you, mortal! Glowface: Vicky gets Rocketman's world... Vicky: I don't want Rocketmen! Glowface: Fine. You can have the X's HQ. Vicky: Works for me. Glowface: Vexus gets complete control over X-J9... Vexus: You aren't so bad after all... Glowface: Plankton gets the Krabby Patty secret formula AND the Krusty Krab... Plankton: YES! Glowface: Doofenshmirtz gets Danville and the Tri-State area surrounding it... Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I never thought I'd get something... Glowface: ...and Mandark gets the tools necessary to destroy Dexter's lab! Mandark: A-ha! A dream come true! Glowface: Let the merging begin! (Glowface turns the power on and begins to merge every universe he knows of) Glowface: Done! Vicky: I don't feel different! Glowface: Good thing, or we would've had- Mandark: What universes did you merge, exactly? Glowface: Every single one to exist. (everyone but Glowface groans) Donald Trump: Dammit. (cut to The X's HQ) Mr. X: What's happened to our town? It's being overrun by Popples! Mrs. X: Truman, would you get the Popple B-Gone, dear? Truman X: We don't have Popple B-Gone! Mr. X: Uhh... right. (to Prize Popple) We're not spies! (cut back to Gorge, Chrome, and Bagel) Gorge: What happened? Chrome: I'd say Glowface, that's what happened! (Sans and Papyrus is walking down the road) Sans: What happened? Papyrus: Don't "what happened" me, Sans! I didn't do anything! Sans: What do you mean? Papyrus: You are the clumsiest lazybones ever! Sans: I didn't do anything. Papyrus: Sure you didn't. And I'm not walking down Popple Lane, either! Sans: I'm serious. I didn't do anything. Papyrus: The point still remains; you're a lazybones! (The Doctor is sitting in his TARDIS) Sans: Let's ask him for directions! (rimshot) Papyrus: Sans! Sans: What? (rimshot) Papyrus: Sans, you're doing it again! Sans: Sorry! (rimshot) Papyrus: GAH! (cut back to the S.N.A.F.U. lair) Glowface: Smell the evil? Crocker: I smell failure... for the children! Glowface: Shut up! I had the perfect plan! Crocker: Well, then... I give it an F! Scene 3 (cut to The X's) Tuesday X: We've been overrun by Popples? Mr. X: What's next? Running in a lake? (The X's fall into a lake) Truman X: Worst day ever! (cut back to Sans and Papyrus) Sans: I saw Gorge today. (rimshot) Papyrus: Sans, shut up! Sans: What? (rimshot) Papyrus: Who is making that awful sound? (Peanut walks by) Peanut: Glowface lied to me! He lied to me at the last minute! He said that universe merging makes no DNA changes. Now look at me! I'm part Popple, part rabbit in 80s clothing! Sans: That rule seems to only affect humans and other non-mammals. Papyrus: Look, buster, we've been the same throughout the merging of the universes, and we look better than ever! Peanut: Really? Sans: Hey, what's over there? (rimshot) Papyrus: Shut up, Sans! (Harry is trying to ward off the evil zombies from Pop Street School) Harry: Flipendo! Expelliarmus! There's no use! (Harry falls to the ground) Harry: They just keep coming! Expelliarmus! Sans: Looks like someone went to Hogwarts. (rimshot) Papyrus: Sans! Sans: Sorry. I'll shut up. (cut back to Gorge, Chrome and Bagel) Chrome: When are we gonna find that- (Daniel, Kyle, Jake and Chloe are seen performing martial arts) Daniel: Hey, guys. Gorge: What's going on? Kyle: The universes have collided, and now we're seeing Popples and zombies and villains and skeletons and everything is just weird. (Sans and Papyrus arrive) Chrome: You make my dreams come true! Sans: I know. (rimshot) Papyrus: Can it, Sans! (Link arrives) Link: What's going on? (Sonic is seen sliding into the coconut tree) Sonic: What's happening? Chrome: ...Sonic? Sonic: That's right. I do not like to get chased by a saccharine cat-and-dog mix! (cut back to the S.N.A.F.U. lair) Glowface: Dr. Chipotle Jr... Dr. Chipotle Jr: That's my name. Don't wear it out- Glowface: Where were you when I handed out locations? You got Miracle City, remember? Dr. Chipotle Jr: Finally, crime shall be legal! Glowface: Yes, because illegal crime's no fun... (cut back to the Heroes' Campsite) Gorge: We're almost done setting up the Heroes' Campsite. Sans: Can I stay here? Papyrus: Yes, Sans. (The X's arrive) Mr. X: We had to deal with hundreds of Popples, swim through Lake Hoo-ha-ha, and finally we had to escape He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! Gorge: You're- Mr. X: Not spies! (cut back to the S.N.A.F.U. lair) Glowface: Anyone got any soda? Dr. Chipotle Jr: Sun Drop's all that's in here. Glowface: You idiot! Caffeine-free? I wanted the diet! Dr. Chipotle Jr: They make diet soda? Glowface: Watching my calorie intake. (cut back to the Heroes' Campsite) Gorge: Anyone got any soda? Wendy: Thanks for inviting us over! (Gorge gets out some Caffeine-free Sun Drop) Gorge: Now, let's see... Chrome: Whoever is doing all of this weirdness crap... Dipper: Weirdness... fully noted. Chrome: ...I say we reverse this process! Gorge: A squirrel is hugging me! Jelly: Sorry. Force of habit. Mr. X: Well, now that we've got everyone here, let's get snuggled up and say goodnight. Dipper: We don't have everyone here. (Phineas and Ferb arrive) Phineas: We made jet packs! Mr. X: Now we have everyone here! Time to say goodnight! Scene 4 (the next morning) Mr. X: Time to wake up and smell the fresh air! Truman X: Yeah. We like fresh air. Gorge: So, how did everybody sleep? Dipper: It would be better... if Jellina wasn't hugging me so much! Jelly: Sorry, Mr. Pines. Force of habit. Mr. X: The point remains clear that something must be done! Mabel: Since when did you think that? (the villains start arriving) Bill Cipher: Oh no, it's Bill! Right? Glowface: We meet again, X's! Vexus: What's this? Some sort of rebellion? Glowface: To stop my plans? Mandark: To stop the destruction of Dexter's lab? Vicky: To stop the... ahh, nevermind. Get 'em! Mr. X: Unhand that... that... diabolical machine! The Chameleon: Never, Mr. X. Snaptrap: Hey! That's my line! Vicky: We partnered up. Donald Trump: And took over your crappy universes. Gorge: Wait a minute. Trump's on their side now? Vexus: Yes, such a shame to- wait! On Dipper's hat! That's the symbol of the yo-kai, isn't it? Dipper: Sure is. (Dipper gets a watch from under the hat) Dipper: Thought you'd never notice. Vexus: We're doomed. Mr. X: Actually, you're doomed. Glowface: Let's not take this so seriously, OK? Dipper: I can summon yo-kai with this watch! Vexus: Wait, I have an idea! (Vexus turns the watch to plastic) Dipper: What? Dang it! Mabel: You ruined our only chance of defeating you. Vexus: Hey, that's what villains are for! Dipper: Yeah... about that... Mabel: We're not scared of your voodoo stuff! Vexus: Voodoo stuff? Glowface: Oh, that's it! I can't take this anymore! VILLAINS! (every single villain arrives) Glowface: The deal's off! With all of you! Except you, Bill, because you're the only one that's been nice to me. Bring out... Shirley! (Shirley arrives) Shirley: I will destroy Jimmy and Timmy! Glowface: Destroy them! Shirley: But they're nice to me! Glowface: Well, then. If you won't take them out... (Shirley disappears) Glowface: I'll just take them out myself! Mr. X: We're gonna be goners! Dead and gone! Dipper: Don't ever say that! Mr. X: Dead and gone? Dipper: No. The part about us being goners. Mr. X: Right... uhh... Glowface: You might as well give up. I have the whole universe in my grasp. Except Gravity Falls, which I'm still loaning to Bill for the time being. Dipper: You take Gravity Falls... (Mabel rips her sweater off to reveal she's wearing Maka Albarn's clothing) Mabel: ...and your soul is ours! Glowface: Now, let's not get ridiculous! Mr. X: Ridiculous nothing! Glowface: What? Mr. X: Ridiculous nothing! Chrome: Let's finish him off! Sans: Glowface has the worst plans in the world... (rimshot) Glowface: Horrible puns! Can't stand the horrible puns! Sans: I have a ton of puns. Get it? A skele-ton? (rimshot) Glowface: You idiot! Gorge: Knock knock. Glowface: Who's there? Gorge: Bug. Glowface: Bug who? Gorge: Waiter, there's a bug in my pizza. Glowface: Not knock-knock PUNS! Papyrus: Glowface, you are such a lazybones! Glowface: Stop calling me lazy! Dipper: You are so lazy, you are in deep sleep every night! Glowface: Agh! Stop calling me... (everyone but Bill Cipher starts throwing insults at Glowface about his laziness) Glowface: I... am... not... Papyrus: A lazybones, eh? Glowface: You... are... weak... (faints) Bill Cipher: Oh, well. Time to unleash my power upon the world. Gorge: Knock knock. Bill Cipher: Who's there? Gorge: Statue. Bill Cipher: Statue who? (turns into a statue) Gorge: That took care of Bill. Dipper: For a while, at least. Gorge: I guess this is goodbye, right? Dipper: You're right. Goodbye. Rocketman: Goodbye. Harry: Bye! Link: Bye-bye! Daniel: See you soon! (the universe goes back to normal) Scene 5: Ending (cut back to Gorge's house) Gorge: Hey, Chrome! Chrome: Yes, Gorge? Gorge: That was a wacky adventure! Chrome: And we caught it all on tape! Gorge: Actually, I didn't catch anything on tape. It was Manjimutt. (the FBI arrive) FBI member #1: Gorge, right? Gorge: Yes. FBI member #2: We need this footage to prove that you are a hero. (cut to Glowface in jail) Glowface: Well, at least all my buddies are here to welcome me, right? (Dr. Chipotle Jr. is sitting in the same jail cell as Glowface) Dr. Chipotle Jr: They got sent to prison. Except Bill Cipher. Bill Cipher's dead. Glowface: Hey, warden! Got any water? Warden: We don't take requests from criminals. Glowface: Dr. Chipotle, can you please get me some water? Dr. Chipotle Jr: Call me Dr. Chipotle Jr. Glowface: Please get me some water. Watching my carbohydrate intake. Dr. Chipotle Jr: Why not ask for diet soda? Glowface: They don't have it here. Duh! (END)